A Lecture on Love
by The Sometime Scribbler
Summary: This was originally the prologue to The Mystery of the Dead Detective, I decided it didn't quite fit with other fic. Still, I thought it made quite a cute vignette about Holmes' feelings for Beth Lestrade and Watson's views on the matter.


The streets of New London were dark and uninviting. Hover cars zoomed around far up above in the sky, but down on the ground things were quiet. It all seemed cold, distant, and bleak on the chilly evening. Most of the windows were dark, or shined with the bright unwavering light of electricity. If one looked carefully however, one might see a softer glow flickering from the window of a certain apartment on Baker Street.

"Watson that was delicious! I don't know how I survived before you came along." Inspector Beth Lestrade gave a satisfied sigh and finished off her cup of coffee.

"I must agree, a most excellent meal Watson," said Holmes, stretching back in his usual chair. The robot in question would have blushed if he had been able. Not knowing what to say to such glowing praise Watson contented himself with nodding his head in thanks and taking the two detectives' dishes from them.

The unlikely trio were celebrating the successful conclusion of their most recent case. Lestrade had come over to Baker Street to go over some paperwork with Holmes, and Watson had made dinner. Naturally they'd invited the good Inspector to stay, especially since Holmes never ate much and Watson didn't eat. Holmes had eaten more than usual tonight though.

Lestrade loved staying at Baker Street. While due to environmental restrictions the fire was artificial, it was still warm and inviting and the whole atmosphere made her feel as though she had been transported back to simpler times.

_No women's rights in the Victorian era though_, she mused.

She looked up from the fire and suddenly noticed that Holmes was staring at her. No, not staring, studying was more like it. He lay stretched out with his hands behind his head and his legs crossed in front of him. His face showed all the signs of concentrated observation. His brows were furrowed, his head was tilted forward, and his eyes were steadily focused… on her. It was unsettling to say the least.

"Well, it's late… I'd better be going," she said shortly. Holmes' expression had made her uncomfortable.

Immediately Holmes snapped out of his reverie. "Of course." He rose and went to get her coat.

"Goodbye Watson!" Lestrade called to the kitchen. "Thank you for dinner!"

Holmes returned and soon the pair were standing in the doorway.

"Well, congratulations again Holmes. Thank you for your assistance on the case. I guess I'll see you soon."

"You're always welcome Lestrade," Holmes said in his superior yet kindly tone. They were silent for a while. Her eyes met his. Holmes coughed. "Goodnight," he said brusquely.

"Goodnight." Lestrade went out the door and closed it behind her.

"Well that was certainly a pleasant evening," Watson intoned from the kitchen doorway where he had been standing and watching the whole time. Holmes started and quickly returned to his chair as if nothing had happened. "The evenings always seem to go faster when Lestrade's around. She really lights up a room wouldn't you say?" Watson's eyes twinkled.

"She's a brilliant inspector." Holmes said off-hand.

"I certainly wish she'd come over more often don't you? Perhaps we could invite her some time. Why, it'll be her birthday soon. She'll be busy on the day of course but we could have her over later. I could cook dinner and you could get her something special. And she must get awfully lonely in that flat by herself. Perhaps you could visit her sometimes. I know! Why not take her to the symphony? You've been wanting to go but it's not really my thing. I'm getting a bit tired of cooking too. Why not make a night of it and treat yourselves to a nice restaurant eh?"

Holmes had listened in bemused silence until this point but now he cut in.

"It's no good Watson. I can see what you're trying to do and I can tell you right now that you're assumptions are utterly flawed."

"What assumptions? I merely said-"

"That I should spend more time with Lestrade. Alone. Now Watson I can see the girl cares for me but I hardly think I should indulge her infatuation."

"Infatuation! Why, it's nothing of the sort!"

"Watson, you are a robot. You understand nothing of romantic love. Comradeship is one thing but love is entirely another. Lestrade is a woman and as such is more susceptible to the tender passions. I do not hold this against her but I don't feel it wise to encourage her. I mean, it's just a passing fancy after all!"

Watson frowned at Holmes. "Now why do you say that?"

"My dear robot let me explain. Lestrade has grown up reading Old Watson's journals about me. Ever since her youth she has aspired to be like me in her detecting exploits. Given the nature of women it is a safe deduction to say that she had some sort of strange pash on my character as portrayed in the journals. Couple that with the fact that she is suddenly living her, childhood dream let's call it, of me being alive AND that I have helped her out of a considerable number of scrapes. Not to mention that she finds me to be pleasurable company…"

"That's debatable," Watson said under his "breath."

"Well the conclusion is obvious! An infatuation, like all romantic love. Not even the devotion that a married couple would require."

Watson smirked. "If you say so old boy, but isn't that rather hard on you?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Just that you must feel somewhat slighted that you truly love this girl and she does not I _truly_ love you back."

"_You dare-_ You _dare_ to accuse me- to assume that I- My dear Watson I thought you knew me better. You must know that I am a practical man. I do not engage myself in that which is superfluous or unnecessary. Intellect, the endeavors of the mind, these are what interest me. I cannot waste time on such thoughts! I mean that too. I'm a selfish and proud man Watson. Quite incapable of such emotion I assure you. You need not worry about my well-being in that respect."

Watson chuckled. "Alright Holmes. If you say so. Being a robot I suppose I was mistaken. I guess I still have much to learn about observation."


End file.
